When you show up:
Oh no, I can’t do this work-out.
Is anyone else coming? Am I going to be the only one here? Should I go home?
Oh someone is here.
Nevermind, that person is really good. I should probably go home.
When the class begins:
Well, I’ve waited too long, I can’t go home now.
This warm-up is literally a work-out in its own right.
I thought they said to move slow through the warm-up why is everyone moving so fast?
Okay, I’m sweating and we’re 5 minutes in.
When the class is almost over:
If I puke, would people notice?
I may die.
I may die in this ugly sports bra.
Wait, I might actually make it!
Did I count wrong on that round/rep?
Wow, we’re almost done!
Nevermind, I still may die.
When it’s all over:
My body hurts. Must take Snapchat selfie.
Must check-in so people know I came
Now must try to not stop for pizza on the way home.
When your legs don’t work like they used to before
And I can’t sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
And darling I will be loving you ’til we’re 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I’m thinking ’bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I’m thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are
It has come to our attention in the office that we snack more than the average human being.
Here is a typical day in the office:
8am: Arrive at work. Turn on computer and then immediately make breakfast.
8:15am: Done with breakfast.
9:30am: Hungry again and instantly regret breakfast choice.
10:30am: Eat a snack.
11am: Ask everyone what they’re doing for lunch.
12pm: Urgently ask everyone what they’re doing for lunch.
12:30pm: Make lunch.
1pm: Done with lunch.
2:30pm: Eat a snack.
2:45pm: Eat a snack. Swear I won’t eat anything again until dinner.
3:30pm: Eat a snack.
4:30pm: Starving again. Eat a snack.
5pm: Leave work and try to figure out what I’m eating for dinner.
It’s safe to say I have a problem.